The third principle we are going to study from Cialdini's Influence is going to be Liking. It is obvious that the more people like you, the more they're going to comply with your requests or help you climb up the ladder.
A boss that loves you is a lot more likely to give you a promotion than a boss that doesn't feel anything for you. It might not be fair, but it's life, and we must learn how to take control of everything we can in order to succeed socially and professionally!
Which is why I'm not going to teach you why liking helps our case, but how you can create that bond.
Creating the bond of liking is generally called rapport. When you're in rapport with someone, it's as if you're in sync. You're laughing together, you're finishing each other sentences, and so on. But how do you create that feeling of rapport with someone you have just met?
Basically, how exactly can we make friends?
We utilize ourselves of a little concept called Mirroring. Psychologists have noted that we tend to like people similar to ourselves, and NLP masters have devised an incredible way to systematically become more similar to the person you're building rapport with.
I'll devote a whole article on just this technique later, right now I just want to teach you exactly how you can start to have deeper rapport today by using a simple type of mirroring: the mirroring of body language.
Imagine yourself as a physical mirror opposite to the other person, if she raises her right arm you raise your left arm, and so on. This is exactly what mirroring is.
But in real life, you won't need to move your arm in any unnatural way. What you're going to mirror is:
- The way they gesture when speaking (when you're speaking, don't move your hands when they're speaking!)
- The way they are sitting
- The way they are walking
- The way they move while sitting (slouching to leaned in, for instance)
- And so on...
Nobody is going to notice if you do this, but by mirroring them physically you'll be able to gain their rapport quickly and swiftly. They won't even notice how they became so attached to you!
After I teach you all about Cialdini, I'm going to write an article specifically on mirroring and its more subtle forms!
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